long-distance love
So if you followed Julia’s flirt instructions in the last post, you should by now have been able to find a German partner. Congratulations, lucky you! As a recent study reported, Germans have been voted the best lovers among OECD countries (a representative group of 1000 Germans was questioned). But what’s their secret? Is it their good looks (see Julia’s last post)? Their attentiveness and understanding? Or simply their incredible skills in the sack? Well all of the above of course, but believe it or not, there’s more to it.

There’s a downside of dating a German

Although dating a German is the most reasonable thing an attractive, young person anywhere in the world can do, these Germans are predominantly found in this rather confined patch of land in the middle of Europe. So if you’re, let’s say British or American, chances are high, your German mate comes with the disadvantage of having the relationship long-distance style. How to handle this handicap is what this article is about.

This isn’t esoterics 101

First we have to clarify that this is not about which kind of person you should be or become in order to deal with long-distance. That’s either trivial (honesty, trust etc.) or too esoteric and can be read up on some hippie blogs and magazines all over the web. No, what really matters in making long-distance relationships work is the all important “O”: Orgasm!  – Organisation I mean! So here we go:

The Top 5  ideas to manage your long-distance relationship

long-distance vinyl love

Love by Kevin Dooley is licensed under CC BY 2.0

1. Have rituals

This is a very obvious and very German piece of advice. You should set rules that are not to be broken! Sonntag 19 h – Skype call! Texts before bed and after waking up! Lunchtime love messages are a good thing but not compulsory! Just make sure you stick to the agreed rules and times and your German partner will respect you.

2. Have a schedule

Use a shared calendar in which you organise how, where and when you see each other. It is fair to assume that you are a successful and busy person, because that’s just the type that usually is attracted to Germans and thus you have a busy schedule yourself. Having a shared calendar helps fitting your love life into your lonely life. This is also a great way to distribute travelling expenses and time equally, a point that should be taken seriously!

3. Get to know each other’s friends

This is trivial to understand but actually hard to accomplish, because when you only see each other for the weekend, you might want to spend it 1 on 1. But as most long-distance relationships end up at either one location, it might prove helpful to know your partner’s friends in advance. Another advantage of knowing his or her friends will be mentioned in the next point, which is:

4. Send stuff

Get physical! If you can’t in the obvious way, then at least upgrade from text message to handwritten letter! Letter, what’s that – the younger reader might ask, yeah, how sad is it that future generations won’t be able to read up the Briefwechsel by lovers like for example Goethe and Charlotte von Stein? (Well actually the NSA can already read your texts, but that’s a different story!) So bring it back Oldschool and leave evidence of your love! And don’t stop there, with this infamous internet thingy, you can easily send flowers, books, hugs even (Geheimtipp: ask his/her best friend to deliver this hug, after making friends with him/her – see point 3) without necessarily having to get up from the couch!

5. Make it special!

This is the most important thing. Be creative! Only you know how your love story began and how it went so far, so continue writing it in an inventive way! Don’t take standard recipes (unless it’s the ones you are reading right now) but find out what works for you! Come up with things that fit the situation, the weekend, the plans and your own preferences. But don’t go down the same road too often, find new ways of treating each other. This is not only true for long-distance, but actually for any kind of relationship.

BONUS Material: Ze Skypeover

Skyping isn’t really an innovative tip, but next time you do, why not just put your tablet or laptop next to your bed when you go to sleep and let Skype run till the morning. Thus you can wake up next to each other after the Skype sleepover, hence Skypeover.


In the end it all comes down to the one point: You love this person so much that you are willing to go through the hassle of doing long-distance. So if you are ever overwhelmed or stressed by the inconveniences of it, keep in mind that you do this for a very special person that can’t be found on any street corner of your home town. And I admit, having a realistic plan for a future together doesn’t hurt either.


Do: Spread the love
Read: Goethe’s letters maybe?!

Featured Image Credit: Polska Love by Matthias Ripp is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Written by Tom

Day-time engineer (of course!), free-time vinyl-nudger and uber-organised model citizen. When living together with Julia, we never thought we could be good examples.

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